Jokes

Today’s Sunday, and Mother’s day, so I decided to submit a light post: my favourite Canadian jokes.

In Canada, we have four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction.

You know you’re living in Canada when:
-your municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
-People leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put their useless junk in the garage.

Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein

A Canadian analog to "as American as apple pie.": "as Canadian as possible under the circumstances."

Best sign reported today at the anti-Bush protests in Ottawa: "Please Leave"

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Canadians don't change light bulbs, we accept them as they are.

Now, here’s the cherry on the icing: this is the transcript on an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10 - 10 - 95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES` ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

I hope you had a few good laughs; I’ll talk about something more serious later!